Montréal Cone Dodger
50 levels of Montréal driving chaos. Survive construction season, navigate around BIXI riders and STM buses, dodge the SPVM, and listen to locals yell tabarnak. A love letter to the city’s eternal orange-cone season.
🎮 Controls
↑↓←→orWASD— driveSpace— brakeH— honk (annoys locals 🎺)R— reset the levelU— unstick the carEsc— back to level menu
⚠️ What to avoid
- Orange cones (eternal construction)
- Nids-de-poule (potholes)
- STM buses + traffic cars
- BIXI cyclists (you’ll get yelled at)
- Bike lanes (cyclists will yell)
- The SPVM at high wanted level
🏆 Stars (per level)
- ⭐⭐⭐ — clean, fast, low-damage run
- ⭐⭐ — solid finish
- ⭐ — survived, somehow
- Cops 1 cop catches = arrested
- Outrun cops 750m for 5s to lose them
About the game
You drive a red taxi across an island-shaped map of Montréal, from a starting point like Old Port or Schwartz’s to a destination like Mont Royal or the Stade Olympique. Each of the 50 levels has its own start, end, and difficulty — more cones, more cops, faster traffic, and tighter time limits as you climb.
The map is studded with Montréal landmarks rendered in pixel form: the Centre Bell flying a Habs flag, St-Viateur Bagels, La Banquise poutine truck, the Biosphère, Habitat 67, the Olympic Stadium’s leaning tower, Notre-Dame’s twin spires, Marché Jean-Talon, Bota Bota spa, BIXI stations, dépanneurs, and Schwartz’s smoked meat. Honk near a sidewalk and Quebec slang erupts in speech bubbles overhead.
Why this game exists
Montréal is one of the most charming and infuriating cities in North America to drive in. The orange cones never leave, the potholes have their own ecosystem, the bike lanes are sacred, and someone is always yelling. This game is a tribute to all of that — playable in your browser, no download needed.
Eternal construction
Cones scattered across every street, with extra in the worst zones.
Bike-lane irony
Drive on the bike lane and the cyclists will let you know.
STM + traffic AI
Buses and cars actually drive their lanes. Don’t broadside them.
SPVM wanted system
Hit too many cones, the police chase. Escape 750m for 5 sec to lose them.
Quebec slang
Drive past NPCs and they yell TABARNAK, CÂLISSE, BONJOUR-HI…
GO HABS GO
Centre Bell rendered downtown with a CH flag flying.
50 levels — a sampling
From Tabarnak Test Drive (Level 1) through evergreen routes like Old Port to Mont Royal, Bagel Run St-Viateur, Habs Game Day Rush, and themed challenges like Pothole Apocalypse, Construction Season, BIXI Battle Royal, Jazz Fest Frenzy, all the way up to the brutally difficult ULTIMATE TABARNAK FINAL at Level 50. Each level has its own start and end across the island and earns up to ⭐⭐⭐.
About Montréal Tips
This game is part of Montréal Tips, a local guide to the city’s neighbourhoods, parks, hikes, food, and life. If you enjoyed the game, check out the actual guides for things to do in Montréal — minus the cops, minus the cones, plus the chocolate.